Spent an evening with my parents last nite, and while I was explaing the 'how I would just like to go to sleep until new years eve so that I can wake up in time to tell this year to kiss my ass theory' my dad looks at me and explains that not the ENTIRE year was bad... think back to those 5 months before Sebastion died... those happy moments when everything was bliss. And he is right. Leave it to my dad to always look at the bright side of life... the forever optimist. Got to love him. My dad is a wonderful man. I am really lucky that my parents are my parents. They truely are amazing. And it means the world to me that they do not hesitate to talk about Sebastion. They are still grieving for the loss of their grandson. They haven't just swept it under the rug like so many other people that surround me. I have 'friends' that to this day, nearly 4 months later, still haven't even acknowledged the fact that our child died. Not a mention of his name nor an 'I am sorry for your loss.' Those are the people that I would like to tell to kiss my ass on a good day... on a bad day, I vizualize myself kicking them in the head. Just a thought.
And another thought... Flipping the calander to the month of December was like being slapped across the face... December 21st.. Due Date with a big ole smiley face. (also the full moon, yet another moon connection, thanks baby). Ouch, this gonna hurt.
I swear you are in my head! When I flipped the calendar this morning and saw "DUE DATE!!!" on the 18th, I swear I felt like I had just been slapped across the face. Stupid Calendar. I don't know him but I love your dad. LOL. What he said is so true. Unfortunately though...I will never have that bliss back. Not even with my next pregnancy because I am telling you, until I am holding a LIVE and BREATHING baby in my arms I am going to be scared. Anything can happen and I guess until you go through what we have you just don't see all the bad things that can go wrong in those 9 months. Ugh. ((hugs)) to you and a big F U to December. (sorry, I'm really crabby today!) Thinking of sweet Sebastion ♥
ReplyDeleteBethany, I just wanted to let you know that I gave you an award...just check out my last blog post. It's just a fun little thing, you don't have to participate if you don't want to. Hope you're doing well. Love to you. ♥
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