Saturday, December 4, 2010

Beer, pizza, and pain pills...

Again... it's been a bit since I've taken the time to type something up... I think about it, and then I end up reading the ramblings of others, whose lives just seem more interesting than my own... a bit of an escape from my own personal hell, if you will.

By the way.... I WON I WON I WON!  I couldn't be more excited about 25 days of giveaways.. AND the fact that I ACTUALLY won an AMAZING (amazing amazing amazing) gift. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I seriously can not wait to receive the canvas of Sebastion's last ultrasound in the mail so that I can cry as I hang it up in our home.  Not that I'm looking forward to the crying part, it's just inevitable.  I cried in wal-mart the other day as I was in the craft department... stoooopid christmas music. (ok, I was also looking at the most perfect scrapbooking set: newborn baby boy, complete with giraffes)  The waterworks just came a flowing, and random people were staring at me like a crazy person.  Go figure.  One of these days I am going to explode on an inocent bistander, and then, when I'm finished screaming and crying... I will laugh. And it will feel good.

I'm trying really hard to come up with the PERFECT gift for my Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope gift exchange partner... I now have less than a week to get it mailed out, and haven't even started making it, nor purchased the supplies to do so... would probably help if I could make a decision as to what I'm planning... Apparently I am indecisive.  Extemely indecisive.

Beer and Pizza are yummy... pain pills, at times are necessary.  This would be one of those times.  I am still questioning the decision to take birth control pills.  For some reason, even though they are intended to REGULATE periods, this is the second time in the past 3 months that I have started over a week EARLY.  WTF?  and last month, I was a few days late...what gives?  I think I was regulated more with out the darn things.  And every time I swallow one of the mini little baby preventers... I stare at it and think, "Why?"  Why the hell am I killing my chances of having another baby?  Damn it.  I want Sebastion back!!! 

After a week, we finally managed to take Sebastion's tree out to the cemetary.  They actually make solar powered strands of LED christmas lights...who knew???  I can't wait to see what the tree looks like when it is actually lit up:)
Sebastion's star

One of MANY tiny ornaments

Daddy securing the tree so it won't blow over

Love you baby boy... 
It will look so much better  once we get a headstone...haven't been able to bring myself to look at them yet...some day.


  1. Congratulations on winning, I love things on canvas. His tree is beautiful. ((HUGS)) Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season.

  2. Sebastion's tree is gorgeous! I love the star at the top and those ornaments are so cute! I know that Sebastion just loves it.

    Congratulations on winning! I bet it will be so precious when it is finished. Be sure to share it with us because we would love to see it.

    Thank you SO much for writing Micah's name in the snow and sending it to me. I am so touched that you did that. It means so much to me that you remembered my baby and thought of me. Thank you again!

    I will be keeping you and your precious family in my thoughts and prayers. Happy Holidays to you too:)

    P.S. - Do you want me to add a link to this blog to Sebastion's blade of grass picture on Micah's blog? I would be happy to, just let me know.

  3. Mary, I will post pictures for sure:) Thanks for stopping by my little blog. Hope you enjoy the holidays...and if you would like to link my blog that would be great:)