Thursday, October 14, 2010

fake it till you make it.

The angel that sits on Sebastion's grave

Today is bittersweet.
A local news station came to our house to do an interview about babyloss and promoting the faces of loss, faces of hope website.  I managed to make it through the entire interview (I have no clue how) without crying.  It is a bit unreal to me that I just told the entire cental ohio area a brief version of Sebastion's story with out showing my true emotions... I am crying as a type this.  Perhaps it was some sort of out of body experience, or better yet, I had an angel sitting on my shoulder telling me to be strong.  I love you Sebastion.  I wish everyday that I could hold you in my arms, instead of (as well as) my heart.

I had a friend tell me the other day that she thought I was a very strong person, and then she followed that statement with the remark that another of our friends was worried about me... that I was putting up a front, and that I wasn't as strong as I appeared.  To which my response was... she is a very smart girl.  I'm not ok.  I probably never will be... but as said friend stated... "fake it till you make it".

I can only hope that by telling our story on the local news, and promoting Faces, that perhaps I can help another mommy that is in pain try to cope.  I have 'met' some amazing women through the site, whom I may never actually meet face to face, but we share a very special bond, and they have impacted my life in just a few short weeks.   I now belong to a group that is full of love, hope, and kindness.  Sisters untited in tragedy.
visiting Sebastion's graveside

1 comment:

  1. ((hugs)) I think we all tend to "fake it until you make it" I know I do. Some days are easier than others, sometimes I just can't fake it no matter how hard I try. You are beautiful and I know Sebastion is so proud of you! ♥