On Valentines Day (when we did the balloon release) I had also taken a balloon on a stick to place at his grave, but the ground was still frozen so I couldn't get the darn thing in the ground, and the wind was so strong that it was ripped from my hands and there was no way I could chase after it holding onto my daughter, and the balloons, trying not to fall on the ice. Today I bought a candle holder for him and decided to deliver it on the way to my parents. Lily had fallen asleep on the drive, so I actually had the chance to hang out for awhile. I listened to Let it Be on my ipod and sang my heart out to my baby boy, while the tears flowed. It felt good. Honestly.
I also found the balloon trapped in the corner of the cemetery, next to the fence.
I am really a fan of having a candle there... thought never even occurred to me until I saw it in the store today.
I figure if anyone else goes to visit him, they can light a flame while there. It blew out at least half a dozen times today...the cemetery is actually located at the highest point in our county, which means there is almost always a wonderful breeze... incredibly windy at times even... but that also means that sitting at Sebastion's grave is also the most beautiful place to watch the sunset.
|It felt so good to watch the sunset with him again.|
And after the sun had set, the reflections on the clouds were brilliant:)