No. That does not mean that I am no longer sad over the loss of our sweet son...only that the hard days of breakdown and uncontrollable sobbing are fewer and farther between. I hope this some what sense of peace can stick around for awhile. I need all the strength I can get with this little miracle on the way.
Wave of Light
I wanted to make something special this year for the wave of light, so I made the candle above. The front, of course is in honor of our sweet baby boy, and on the back I tried to include all the names of Sebastion's friends in heaven. I let it burn for nearly 5 hours, but I think that I may continue to light it from time to time when I am feeling blue. Most likely, I will end up making a new one for next year, but as of right now, I could pack it away and still have all the names for next October. Sadly though, there will likely be more names to add to it by then.
I miss my baby. I wish he were here with me. If he had been born near his due date, he would be 10 months old right now. Oh how different life would be. Sigh.