Monday, October 17, 2011

Remembering all our babies...

October 15th.  This year, to me, seemed so much easier than last.  Perhaps it was because my heart has a more time to mend...or because I didn't attend any functions on the actual...or because I have a new hope in the rainbow within... it is hard to tell the actual reason(s).  But for me, the day was rather peaceful. 
No. That does not mean that I am no longer sad over the loss of our sweet son...only that the hard days of breakdown and uncontrollable sobbing are fewer and farther between.  I hope this some what sense of peace can stick around for awhile.  I need all the strength I can get with this little miracle on the way.

Wave of Light

I wanted to make something special this year for the wave of light, so I made the candle above.  The front, of course is in honor of our sweet baby boy, and on the back I tried to include all the names of Sebastion's friends in heaven.  I let it burn for nearly 5 hours, but I think that I may continue to light it from time to time when I am feeling blue.  Most likely, I will end up making a new one for next year, but as of right now, I could pack it away and still have all the names for next October.  Sadly though, there will likely be more names to add to it by then.

I miss my baby.  I wish he were here with me. If he had been born near his due date, he would be 10 months old right now.  Oh how different life would be. Sigh.


  1. I can't even imagine your tremendous loss. To cheer you up, you won my giveaway for a recordable story book! I couldn't find an email address to email you so please email me at jeremynjenprice (at) gmail (dot) com to claim your prize!

  2. Hey Bethany! Just checking in again to let you know that you won the recordable story book giveaway. Please respond by the end of the day today (Mon. the 31st) or I will need to choose a new winner!