Thursday, May 19, 2011

It can't rain all the time...

I have been feeling a bit under the weather this week... my daughter actually started with the crud nearly a week ago, and I followed in her foot steps a few days later.  The weather in these parts hasn't exactly been picture perfect either, which tends to let spirits sink a bit as well.  We actually even missed church this week for the first time since we started going.  I've been feeling a bit guilty about that, and about the fact that it had been weeks since my last visit to the cemetery.  I should have gone to see him on mother's day.  I did not.

Today, it did not rain for the first time since friday ... I'm not really sure.  So as my daughter, the puppy and I were on our way to my parents house so that I could do the bi-weekly cleaning of my grandparents portion on the house, I decided it a good idea to stop by for a visit. 

Upon turning into the cemetery I could tell that it had been freshly mowed, which I found a bit odd considering all the rain of late.  I pull the car around the drive and stop at the top of the hill looking down at his grave and I notice a vase laying on it's side.  I instantly think... I didn't bring flowers the last time I was here.  Did I? I wrestle the puppy and getting Lily out of the car seat and we walk down the hill to see her baby brother... That's when it hits me... someone has been here.  Some. one. else.

I kneel down and lift up the tumbled vase.  Wilted flowers still  holding onto their color follow it's lead.  Someone had brought my baby flowers.  I was touched.  And then I saw the laminated piece of paper that was trapped beneath the fallen vase.  I picked it up and brushed away the wet grass and dirt to reveal a poem... I quickly scanned to the bottom to see if there was a name and there it was....

Sebastion Rush Scott.

Some one had thought of my baby.

I began to read the poem... tears filling my eyes... and then I stopped.  I looked at my daughter and explained what I had found and asked if she would like me to read it aloud.  'Yes momma' she chased Obi around in circles.  As I read the words to BOTH of my children the tears streamed down my face.  With all the poems and versus' and quotes that I have come across along this journey, this was not something that I had read before.  

When you remember ME smile

Hello I'm here in heaven
that is where I am suppose to be
It's not to bring you sorrow
But love and peace and joy

God needed me for a purpose
My death was not in vain
I never had to suffer
Or was never in any pain

I want to let you know that
Heaven yes it's true
That Jesus not only died for me
But he died for also you

So this is what I need to say
Don't be sad and don't you cry
For Jesus is taking care of me
Up in These Heavenly skies

I want to ask you something
Do you truly know my Lord
Have you ask Him in your heart
Because He wants to give you more

It was my time to pass
But it's your time to live
Have peace that Jesus lives in you
And you'll see me once again

I'm being taken care off
Heaven's beautiful to see
But it's time to stop mourning 
And to set my spirit free

I love you all Remember this
I know your hearts been breaking
But Heaven is the greatest place
Now go on and start living

We stayed for a bit... I took some photos.  Lily needed a break from the dog (literally, she told me so) and went and rested on Uncle Tom's bench (popsy)... his grave overlooks Sebastion.  Tom was my dad's best friend. He died the same year I was pregnant for Liliana... if she had been a boy,  her middle name was to be Thomas in his honor.

After a few more minutes it was time to move on, so I packed us all up in the car to drive down the hill to my parents house... when I pulled into their driveway my daughter proclaims:
"Mommy, I'm upset." 
'What's wrong sweetie?'
"I miss Ash-ton." pouty lip.  "I miss baby brother." 

the tears started flowing... 'I know you do baby.  I miss him too.'

And as I type this at 4 am, I have a smile on my face as I remember my son... he sure was a kicker:)
Love you baby boy.  And oh how it warms my heart that others think of you too.


  1. I am crying!

    That is the sweetest thing ever.

  2. This brings tears to my eyes! What a sweet thing for someone to do.